I.. dunno how to describe.. my feeling.. haihz. today 3.6.2009. So sad la. Recently im undergoing training in one small company. At first everything went well. But sooner or later, there are more n more stress and worries. I , myself applied for this company for doing Computer Science regarding database or any coding stuff. But sadly, this today itself i have done a tiny little bit of those. What i doing there was designing brochures, typing , carry stuffs, hardware troubleshooting, etc,etc.
When i first get the task of designing, realising i dont know anything about ADODB PHOTOSHOP, my mind recall what a graduate senior told,

" During interview, even employee ask you do you know , you dont say you dont know, must say yes i know. Anything regarding problems when using that knowledge can be fixed later on. During interview or anything, dun be too straight. "

I told my employer " Yes I used before that software "
Internships. In my brain the idea i get from this word is training for undergraduate in society.
However, all the stuffs i learned is not from this company. It is from another video streaming company called " YOUTUBE" .
Once, when i was learning how to fix a specific problem regarding designing at youtube, i was spotted by my employer. He told me do not do other stuff other than office work. Swt. He didnt teach me and now he even didnt let me to self-learn. I notice myself dont like to been falsely blame. Therefore, i reflect the 'office bullets' and shoot him back . He went queit =)

Im new to designing. Im not studying to be designer. What he can expect from me? A graduated designer standard? Therefore, mostly the things i do, i ask him bit by bit till one day he told me

" Vincent, have some confidence in your work "

Fine. I do it my style. End up, he say must follow what he like. I was wondering, everyone have their way or method or even your own liking. What I like doesnt mean you like. For example maybe you think this girl is beautiful but for me is the another way round. Different ppl have different taste. How the fcuk i know what his taste.

Sien. Sad. Things that i do with full-hearted, been criticised. Dissapointed.

Labels: Daily life